Strange hopefuls
United Fascist Union, Federalist Party and others field presidential candidates
By Scott Rank
Daily Staff Writer
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Those who think the Rev. Al Sharpton is an unorthodox presidential candidate haven't heard of Jackson Grimes.
Grimes is an ardent follower of Italian fascist Benito Mussolini and the front-running presidential candidate for the United Fascist Union. If elected, Grimes intends to move politics toward paganism and astrology.
"I believe it is my destiny to become President," Grimes said on his Web site, www.ufu.gq.nu. "The stars and planets say it is time for the United Fascist Union to rule America, so that Pagan Rome can be back in the Physical World once more. It was written in the stars from the dawn of creation that Jack Grimes would become president."
If voters don't warm up to fascism, they can turn to the National Barking Spiders Resurgence Party, which promises lower crime, a cleaner environment and meatloaf on Wednesdays.
"Today's National Barking Spider Resurgence Party is truly determined to renew America's most basic bargains: triple coupon Saturdays and ballots even a child can fathom," said candidate Michael Bay on his campaign Web site, www.outofthinair.homestead.com/NBSRParty.html.
Grimes and Bay are two of the many widely unknown people running for president. While most in the general public are only aware of President Bush and seven Democratic challengers, a multitude of candidates run their campaigns under the public radar.
A total of 178 people are registered to run for president, including 66 Democrats, 27 Republicans and 37 other political parties, including the Christian Falangist Party and the Turtle Political Party.
These candidates are the most recent crop of contenders who flood the ballots every election.
Robert Lowry, associate professor of political science, said off-key candidates are a staple of every presidential election. Any American-born citizen with a few hundred dollars, several signatures and the right registration forms can campaign for the White House.
"There have always been these candidates running for president," he said. "Sometimes these people want to get their issue out. Other times they just want to get publicity."
Not all unlikely candidates run under the radar. Ross Perot ran under the Reform Party in 1992 and 1996 and took more than 15 percent of the popular vote. In 2000, Ralph Nader was the Green Party alternative to traditional party candidates Bush and Al Gore, a pair some voters wrote off as being too identical.
However, the majority of this year's candidates don't have the same success story.
Prohibition party candidate Earl Dodge -- whose main goal is reinstating the 1930s alcohol ban -- has run three unsuccessful presidential campaigns in the past 12 years. William Bryk, the Federalist Party candidate, represents a party that has been largely defunct since 1824.
Some candidates run despite being automatically ineligible. An example is Daniel Vovak, a 31-year old Republican who wears an American Revolution-era wig. U.S. presidents must be at least 35.
Armed with his colonial wig, a semi-reliable cell phone and his truck, which he affectionately called "Air Ford One," Vovak crisscrossed Iowa for several months prior to the Jan. 19 caucuses. He has since dropped out of the race and become a waiter in Florida, but was proud of the ideals of his candidacy.
"I don't know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid," Vovak said in an Oct. 9, 2003, Daily article. "They both sound the same so I can't see why the government doesn't lump those two programs together."
Although they don't have a realistic chance of winning the White House, the candidates add an entertainment factor to elections, said Steffen Schmidt, university professor of political science.
"In the case of the California recall election, they added quite a bit to the media circus," he said. "If you didn't have an exotic dancer, a midget movie star and a naked cowboy running for office, it wouldn't be any fun."
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Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
anonymous818
anonymous818
posted 2/04/04 @ 3:12 PM CST
Jack Grimes is a retarded fool.
I never laughed so hard as when I came to understand the breadth of eccentric stupidity, as that range was just expanded by Jack Grimes. (Continued…)
anonymous818
anonymous818
posted 2/05/04 @ 7:02 PM CST
It is easy to belittle others beliefs but, only 3rd party candidates like Jack Grimes offer this country any real hope for a stable future. The Republicans are rich mans parties ran for the rich and by the rich, they only represent atrophy and decay. (Continued…)
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